In the first Anal Pleasures Practice we explored greeting and being with your asshole. Now we are going to go a little deeper. Slowly. The practice below is what I call waking up the asshole: arbiter of truth. This is because your butt can really show you where you are, how wound up or relaxed your nervous system is, and what is a 'no' and what is a 'yes'. Simply, the booty doesn't lie.

First, understanding the anatomy of your anus is key towards awareness and eventually building arousal. Notice the two sphincters of your anus. They are very close together. It is important to note that the external sphincter can be controlled voluntarily by the central nervous system - the same part of you that activates the muscles in your hands or legs. With a little concentration, we can make the external sphincter tense or relax at will. The internal sphincter is controlled by your autonomic nervous system, the same system that makes adjustments in blood pressure, respiration rate and other "involuntary" body functioning. It relaxes or tightens reflexively - hence when feces is passed from colon into rectum, it triggers the automatic relaxation of the internal sphincter. Then the voluntary relaxation of the external sphincter allows for a bowel movement to pass. Anal health is connected to our allowing of feces and gas to pass, and the relaxing of these sphincters, but that's another class entirely. For now, it is important to know a bit about your anatomy so you can understand what you are touching and how it functions.

Invitation for Practice (the asshole as arbiter):

See that your nails are short and your booty is clean. You don't need to douche or have an enema - just a little soap and water is enough. Then spend some time getting your body relaxed. Perhaps some gentle stretching, massaging, a bath or hot shower, and/or a little deep breathing.

First give your whole body a little rub down. Perhaps use some internal-safe oil like coconut oil. Take a few passes over your anus, rub your buttcheeks and every inch you of you possible. Take your time with slow, intentional caresses.

*You might record the instructions below and play them back for yourself

When you feel ready, start to concentrate the massage around your asshole. Allow your touch to just graze over your external sphincter while continuing to massage the tissues around it. Don't skip out on your buttocks, inner thighs, and where your legs and butt meet. Massage with whatever pressure feels good for you: You can knead, slap, caress, tickle... Feel your body's tissues: their texture, their density, the quality of your skin and hair. Apply more oil or lube in your hands. Begin to circle the external sphincter with one or two fingers. Make slow circles that spiral in and out. Then use your fingers like a feather and just tickle over the anal opening, passing up and down between your buttcheeks. Then gently press the external sphincter and release - like you were ringing a doorbell. Try this a few times and notice what you notice. Then hold your finger firmly but gently on top of your anus. Notice how tight or relaxed it is. Take a deep breath. As you exhale, press a little firmer, holding a gentle but firm pressure. It's not quite a push but a holding. You can even imagine your asshole is holding your finger. Breathe and notice how your asshole responds. You can stay here for quite a while. Breathing and holding steady. Eventually, your asshole might soften and it will start to pull your finger in. It is important you don't force it. Keep breathing. Feel your breath moving in your asshole. If your finger feels pulled in, see what it's like to allow it. Can you feel the internal sphincter? Breathe here. You can hang out here for a bit or give gentle pressure along the walls of your anus, pressing and moving your finger in a circle. Explore what else feels good, but remember you might need to add more lube/oil. Follow your pleasure: continue to explore the touch your asshole likes, perhaps add genital stimulation or gentle hip movements. Take some time to savor at the end.

Anal Play Pro-Tips

• Go slower than you think
• Use more lube than you think
• Breathe as if you're asshole were your nose
• Include your whole body in the experience